Isn't it funny how quickly a year goes by? Maybe this is just me, but when we hit three kids, our time really started flying by, with these blips where everything slowed down to a sludge like crawl only to speed up again three seconds later.
I believe in full disclosure, so honestly, when 2014 started, my little family was just starting an uphill battle of epic proportions. My sweet husband was diagnosed with fatty liver disease, Henry was two months into his Sensory Processing Disorder diagnosis and our life in many ways was at the mercy of his Occupational and Speech Therapists, Walter and Asher were getting neglected in the chaos, and I was drowning under three kids, JL's liver, my thyroid issues, and the recent revelation from my doctors that at the age of 26 my husband and I might not be able to have any more children.
As we desperately tried to juggle the many plates, everything and everyone suffered.
Until finally, one February morning, in the wake of an epic fight with my husband the previous evening, I just let all of the plates drop to the floor.
Time and time again, situation after situation, I felt deeply humbled. I became overwhelmed with the feeling that Heavenly Father was breaking my imperfect self down inch by inch so that I could rebuild myself from the rubble. One little brick at a time. Baby steps. Bill Murray baby steps.
I felt truly blessed. Through every trial and tribulation that came. I really just felt overcome with peace. There are tangible blessings that occur when you hand your life over to the Lord and ask for guidance in even the most mundane situations. By December, it was apparent that 2014 in its messy chaos, was the best year of my life.
Does that mean that suddenly in 2015 I am rising from the ashes like a phoenix, with glorious splendor? HAH! Guys, no. No. Just today, Henry had a spectacular fit in the mother's room during church because he didn't want to be Sunbeam and wanted to stay in the nursery, and while he was flailing his arms and legs and I was desperately trying to find all of the strength in my body to restrict his motions, he managed to rip a HUGE hole in the knee of my tights. So I went to the bathroom, threw those things away, and went another two hours in church with boots, no socks to protect my feet, praying that no one noticed I haven't shaved above my knee in....oh...seven weeks.
So in honor of the many New Year's Resolutions I have heard, here is mine: Be a little more gentle and a lot more kind with myself and those around me. Just one baby step at a time. And as the effervescent (you read that right) Tom Hiddleston said, "You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain."
