the fiiiiiinal countdown

Sometimes when I'm bored, I scroll through photos that JL and I have taken of the boys on our phones. There are some real gems in there, like this one:

There is also a photo of Henry with a snot beard. Because we believe in capturing authentic memories for our children.

This weekend I traded out our fridge calendar for December's schedule of events. Without Story Time or play dates, nearly every day is empty. But while scribbling in doodles for the Holidays and birthdays, I realized that at the end of this calendar I would be headed to the hospital to have a baby. (Anytime I think about going somewhere for a specific purpose, I always think of my oldest brother, who very sweetly sang to me on my wedding day: "Going to the temple and you're...gonna get maaaarrrriiiieeeed." I mean, anywhere. Target to get diapers. Sam's to get milk. Doctor's office for an appointment. Bonded for life.) I also realized that in the next five weeks, JL is on call for three of them.

Even with an empty calendar I feel a little stressed. Although, I just looked at JL's calendar and I feel so much better about life. He's kind of my hero.

This is random, but we've cut the boys down to one educational show a day, and right now I'm watching Walter have a panic attack watching Little Einsteins. He gets so invested in what he watches, we are never going to be able to let him watch Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. Sheesh.

Look at that body...I work out...

Look at that sexy beach ball stomach. Yowza! 

With 8 weeks left on our countdown I am very happy to announce that we have an induction date on the books! Due to our placenta issues, there is a large chance that we'll go into early labor anyway, but my body has never shown an inclination to progress from labor into active labor on its own so my doctor put the induction on the books for January 8!

This has me very excited! The baby has already started to slowly drop down, making my bladder uncomfortable and making it really hard to get in and out of bed. I've also started having painful and regular contractions. With Henry, I had regular contractions for 5 weeks before my doctor induced, and by the time we hit the hospital I was exhausted and beyond ready to have a baby in my arms. I am starting to have a similar emotional response to all of this nonsense.

Plus, all of the weight I have gained this time around has been in my upper arms, belly, and breasts, which leaves a lady feeling quite top heavy. Like Dolly Parton.

Bring on the baby!

Reestablishing normality

Since Walter's concussion we've been desperately trying to embrace our usual schedule. Unfortunately we had a hectic Saturday that involved over a foot of snow (what?!), branches down, and my sister totaling her car. By Saturday night Walter's lack of sleeping had gotten the better of him and Henry was showing signs of a cold from spending the morning outside. Somebody, *ahem*, fell asleep on the couch.

We put everyone to bed early, including ourselves. It was beautiful.

Since then, I have scratched my eye, taken several blows to my poor scratched eye, and helped Walter successfully fight off an ear infection.

I've decided that Heavenly Father is just getting us through all of the winter illnesses in the beginning so that when the baby comes right after the New Year I won't have to worry about sick kids AND a newborn.

Thankfully thankful

With the Thanksgiving season upon us, a lot of my friends have taken to Facebook posting daily things they are thankful for.

I could list a thousand things that I'm thankful for, but really, they all boil down to these two cuties (and Baby Boy #3) and this guy:

I am so incredibly grateful that JL works as hard as he does so that we can afford to live a comfortable life that includes me being able to stay at home with our boys. He takes on call shifts so we have extra cash for fun things, works at least 40 hours a week, helps out with the boys, goes to school full time, and is involved in our local church without complaining. Lately he has also helped me get my shoes on, get in and out of bed, stretch so my sciatic nerve doesn't bother me and dealt with all of my last trimester hormones. He's pretty amazing.

a Halloween curse

I've thoroughly enjoyed reading all of my friends' blog posts about Halloween and living vicariously through them. Once again, we had a Halloween bust at our house. I'm really starting to feel like Walter is carrying a Halloween curse because every year of his little life something awful has happened to him either on or right before Halloween.

When he was 11 months old he was diagnosed with mono...no Halloween.
When he was 23 months old he got the flu...no Halloween.

And this year...oh man. Monday night Walter took a swan dive from the cart in Target and landed hard on his head and wrist. We thought he had broken his arm and finger at first, but then he started moving it around so we waited until morning to take him to his doctor. Diagnosis: mild concussion and some bruised soft tissue in his arm. I thought, 'Okay! We can do Halloween with that.' All we had to do was keep him from hitting his head again for a week.

Wednesday morning he was chasing Henry around our house and did what can only be described as a slide tackle on our kitchen floor. He immediately started to complain of a headache and watery eyes. I called the doctor's office to see what to do and they told me to keep monitoring him and give them a call if he started to seem confused or began vomiting.  Five minutes later he was throwing up a lovely combination of oatmeal and red Powerade allllll over the house. We took him to the doctors. They requested a CT scan, which the hospital couldn't squeeze in until the next morning.  Until then we were supposed to keep Walter from falling, hitting his head, running, or behaving like a little boy in any way.  Halloween canceled.

The next morning I sent JL off with all of our Halloween candy that hadn't been handed out at Trunk or Treat and got Walter and Henry ready for the day. Luckily, my very sweet mother-in-law was able to come up and take Henry for the morning while Walter and I went and had our "adventure".

We made it to Utah Valley, walked into the outpatient Lab and were immediately redirected to the Radiology department in the hospital. Once there we were told we had to check in on the main floor at Admitting because Walter needed to be sedated and that would be handled on the Pediatric floor. 20 minutes later we made it up to Peds, got buzzed in through the door and waited. And waited. And waited. At 9:40, an hour after we started this scavenger hunt, a Child's Life volunteer came out and explained that somehow they had not been informed we were even there. Head of Child's Life, Debbie came out, and stayed with us for the rest of the procedure. She kept Walter entertained with a shower caddy full of toys, several of which he got to keep. After about 15 more minutes, Nurse Mary Anne came and told us that they had been looking for us for over an hour but that Admitting kept telling them we hadn't checked in. She was great and really sweet with Walter while she walked us down the hallway to the sedation room.  There we met Dr. Matt and, long story short, Walter got a little sleepy. The scans were fast and Walter was wonderful through the whole thing. I actually think that by the end he was enjoying himself. Pediatric doctors and nurses can really make or break a visit, and we were extremely blessed to have a great little entourage with us the whole time keeping Walter and myself calm and put together through everything. Dr. Matt and Nurse Mary Anne even entertained Walter in the CT for me since I couldn't be in there for the actual pictures due to Baby #3.  Walter got first class treatment and was wheeled out in a little red wagon to our car, happy as a clam and ready to do it all over again. He gave Nurse Mary Anne a huge hug and asked her if he could stay with her and his wagon. She laughed and said, "Walter, for your sake, I hope I never see you again!"

The scans were crystal clear. Another crisis averted. JL and I rented a carpet cleaner and the whole house looks like new again. It was really gross to see how much dirt and muck pulled up from the carpets not including the vomit. I think we'll now be doing that every 6 months or so.

In the meantime, we just get to keep Walter entertained and mostly calm for the next few days until he is out of his concussion "risk period" and then we can get back to normal again.

Next year....

anti-guilt trips for moms everywhere

A few weeks ago I posted about how I've been a grouchy Mom and the steps I was/am taking to be better in the moment with my boys.  Last week I felt a real dip in that motivation.

JL has been working odd hours and taking more on call shifts as we get financially prepared for Christmas, and his school load has been much more demanding this term than last. I feel like the second our heads hit the pillow we are both out which leaves no real time for actual communication. I love my husband so this makes me sad.

Both boys have been consistently under the weather. First we had the flu shot fall out.  Then Henry decided it was a great idea to cut five teeth all at the same time while Walter went through a major growth spurt. Then that morphed into a wicked cold and my house has been infiltrated by tissues covered in bright green mucus ever since. Blegh.

I've also had a fair amount of heavy contractions and now my OB is lecturing me on premature labor. Lectures from my OB always remind me of lectures from my Grandma Fowler. Sweetly worded guilt trips.

I am not one of those mothers that follows the rule that a messy home equates to happy kids. I definitely think cleaning is important and teaches children the importance of cleanliness. I also am not one of those mothers who will completely ignore myself to make sure my kids and spouse are happy. But sometimes my attempts at balance and sanity are completely thrown off by friends that tell me I shouldn't care so much. Friends that guilt trip me for putting the boys in front of Sesame Street every day to take a shower and get dressed. And after awhile all of that peer pressure and those comments start to work on me and I wonder if I really am even a tolerable mother and wife.

Now that I've whined that all out...the point is I was losing steam. Then I came across a quote by L. Tom Perry that completely changed my perspective.

One of the greatest weaknesses in most of us is our lack of faith in ourselves. One of our common failings is to depreciate our tremendous worth.

I love it so much it's my new background on my laptop.

Oh Henry...

I love this kid so much. There are really no words...