excuse me, I have something inconsequential to say

For the past three days, my sweet baby has turned into a monster to rival Oscar the Grouch. He is teething, growing, and sniffly. As a direct consequence, I've spent most of the time at home except for attending a performance of As You Like It at BYU's Pardoe Theater.

This enables me to tell you all about the most bizarre take on Shakespeare I have ever witnessed and I witnessed quite a few versions at Swine Palace Theater in Baton Rouge, a place much more contemporary and "cutting edge" than anything Provo, Utah has to offer. At least on a regular basis.

Before I begin, let me say that the music man wins. By a long shot.

The husband and I sat in the third row, right behind an adorable little family that had two teenagers and two children under the age of twelve. Three of the cast members were on stage warming up the audience with musical numbers that involved a guitar and a tambourine (until the tambourine broke). I was so caught up in the joy of singing along to The Beatles, Let It Be with a crowd of perfect strangers that it took quite a few minutes before I realized men in ski masks were guarding every entrance and I began to feel concern for the mother in front of me and her two small elementary aged children. That concern quickly grew as the play began and the stage was filled with more violence than, well, to give you my exact thoughts at the time, the DiCaprio-Danes adaptation of Romeo and Juliet in the 1990s. It was a very rocky start.

That rocky start gave way to the realization that Rosalind, played by the beautiful Ashley Bonner, was a head taller than most of the male cast, her romantic counterpart included. Bonner played her part well. Her talent, combined with her height, made it impossible to focus on the other players when she was on stage. I am ashamed to say, it might have been too much of a good thing.

Twenty minutes in and I had already given up on the director and the main character. Thankfully, the director had the good graces to add to the show a music man. Kris Paries, playing Amien and the new role of "Music Man", breathed fresh air into an overworked attempt of modernization. He kept me going until Orlando (Ben Isaacs) had the good graces to sing a delightfully silly song while playing the guitar and harmonica. I love a man with musical dexterity. From that point on, my mood had been restored and the play seemed to quickly culminate in its multiple weddings and great joy. I clapped for the cast, I hooted at Ben Isaacs and Kris Paries - along with several other members of the audience - and I left with the knowledge that my Saturday afternoon had not been entirely wasted.

When all was said and done, I enjoyed myself. However, I hope to never sit through another musically enriched version of Shakespeare again.